Then and now
by edcq11
Summary: An Olicity fic: Then and Now.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

* * *

_Now_

"I'm used to you being my girl," he said.

She wasn't listening.

"Felicity, please."

She picked up her bag and walked out the door. Oliver's knees buckled and he couldn't stop himself from sliding down the wall. This hurt more than anything he ever experienced.

Felicity was gone. For good this time.

* * *

_Then_

"Oliver! stop it!" Felicity screamed. He didn't stop, he kept tickling her and pinching her sides. She laughed and protested some more before planting a kiss on his lips that got him to stop.

"See, was that so hard? That's all I wanted," he said as he gave her that smile he only smiled for her. His real smile. She narrowed her eyes and mocked him, which led to him tickling her and pinching her all over.

"Okay! okay! okay! I give! I give!" she said laughing, almost in tears. He gave her another kiss, then another, then another, then another…

"Smile you two!" Robert shouted as they both looked up. Surprised, but as happy as any two people could be.

Robert snapped the picture that would stay on their mantle for the next eight years. Eight wonderful years.

* * *

_Now _

The picture frame laid on the ground next to Oliver. Broken and irreparable.

* * *

_Then_

"Robert, come here," Oliver asked Robert to follow him out to the gazebo.

"Dad, please. I don't need one of these father son talks. I'm fine, I really am," Robert declared as he clenched his jaw. Just like his father.

He was 15 now and he looked more and more like Oliver with each passing day. Robert Thomas Queen was born on December 24, 2021 at 12:52am in Starling City General to Felicity Megan Smoak and Oliver Jonas Queen. They were for 11 months at the time of his birth. Oliver handed down his Green Arrow persona to Roy Harper on December 24, 2021 at 1:02am in Starling City General.

"I'm not going to pretend to know what's going on in your head. It doesn't work with your mother, it's not going to work with you, but..." Oliver said as he sat down on the rocking chair that his father had sat down in many times when talking to Oliver about life, goals, and women. The irony did not escape him.

"Dad…" Robert interrupted, but Oliver continued.

"You're heartbroken. I know you are, us Queens don't hide that very well."

Robert's eyes swelled up and he nodded. Oliver reached out for his son and patted his shoulder.

"Let me tell you a story," Oliver offered and waited before Robert nodded in agreement.

"Your mother jumped out of plane for me. No lie, a real 'fly in the sky, no bigger or safer than this gazebo' plane. Oh, she was terrified! She even hurled a few times after she and your uncle John landed on a beach."

Robert look puzzled, but his face told Oliver to continue.

"Anyway, you don't know this, but your mother is absolutely terrified of heights. For as smart as she is, she doesn't get them or how they stay up in the air, I mean she understands it, she can explain it, you know the propellers and the thrusters and the gravity of it. Her words, not mine."

"Yeah, I kinda figured that when you started rambling," Robert let out a quick smile, which pleased Oliver.

He continued, "But for me, at a time when I needed help the most, but refused to ask for it, she braved that flight and then jumped out. She did that. For me. That's what love is. Getting to that person, no matter what. That's the moment I knew. Sure I fought it for a few years after that and I even had a couple of relationships before I started acting on my senses and asked your mother to marry me."

"Why would you fight it?" Robert asked.

"Because I wasn't the man your mother deserved, I'm still not. But son, when you find that person who would brave their fears for you, no matter what they are; that's when you'll know. That's the person that will make you a better man every day of your life and that's the person that will deserve your love."

Oliver didn't know Felicity was behind him until he heard her trying to stifle her tears. She embraced Oliver as he rocked on the chair and Robert smiled. Just like his father.

* * *

_Now_

There was a loud bang at the door.

"Oliver! Open the door!" Diggle demanded.

Another huge bang at the door.

"Oliver, don't make me knock this door down!"

Oliver knew Diggle could and would break the door with relative ease, but he didn't care. He sat in the kitchen as Diggle kicked the door once. Oliver took a sip of whiskey, letting the alcohol burn up his insides. It didn't matter, he hadn't felt it for hours and 2 bottles ago. Diggle kicked the door a second time, Oliver took another sip. On the third try, Diggle broke through. Oliver finished off his glass and started pouring himself another.

"Oliver, what are you doing?" Diggle asked.

Nothing but the sound of the bottle being emptied into the glass was heard.

"Oliver…" Diggle said.

"She's gone John. Gone." Oliver said while raising the glass to his mouth.

"Oliver, I'm sorry. I really am, but this isn't the answer. You have to…" Diggle was interrupted by the sound of glass shattering.

"I have to what?! I have to get on with my life?! I have to let go?! I have to get up and face the world…" Oliver's voice began breaking, "She was my world… my wife. And. And, she's gone John! Don't preach to me about what I have to do!..." Oliver broke out in tears.

"Get out! Get out of here! Leave me alone!" Oliver screamed at Diggle.

Diggle never left that night.


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter Two_

* * *

_Then_

As she made her way down the aisle, Oliver reminisced about all the moments that led to this one. This perfect moment.

* * *

_Now_

As he walked down the hallway, Oliver tried to forget about all the moments that led to this one. This terrible moment.

"Oliver" Diggle called out from the kitchen. There was no answer. No words left Oliver's lips since his outburst the previous night. When he accepted that Diggle was not going to leave him alone as he had requested, he turned a cold shoulder to him and tried drowning his sorrows even more. It didn't work. Diggle just watched him and occasionally checked in on him after he passed out.

"Oliver…" Diggle called out again, but no words were needed as Oliver groggily walked into the kitchen.

"How you feelin'?" Diggle asked. Oliver didn't speak as he grabbed a glass and put it on the counter. He opened and reached in a cabinet, but quickly came to the realization that it was empty. He opened another and another, each one being as empty as the last.

"You won't find any booze Oliver." Diggle stated, looking up from his cup of coffee. He saw Oliver's shoulders tense up in frustration as he hung his head over the glass, "It won't help you. Believe me, I've…"

"What? You've been there?!" Oliver interrupted and continued, "Oh yeah, you've been there. It's all coming back to me. Your brother was killed. By a man you later called a teammate. Oh right, I do remember that now." Oliver grew louder and louder with each word.

Diggle replied, "Oliver that's enough. I'm here trying to help you."

Oliver scoffed, "Help me? Help me? You can't help me."

"I can try. We're brothers," Diggle said as he raised from his seat.

Oliver laughed and threw the glass at Diggle, missing him. On purpose.

"I am not your brother. If I was, you'd be trying to sleep with my wife right about now. Or are you going to wait until I die? I asked you to leave. I won't miss next time."

Diggle hung his head a little and shook it as he made his way out.

* * *

_Then_

"Oliver, are you sure you're ready?" Diggle's voice came through the earpiece. He knew Oliver was nervous.

"We can try this another way if you need more time," Diggle assured him. Oliver considered it, but his need for an answer outweighed his doubts.

"No, we're going to do this tonight." Oliver replied.

"Doing what tonight?" Felicity said, startling him. Oliver was never good at lying to her, but he played it as smoothly as he could.

"We're gonna have a great night, we're going to do that. Tonight. That's what we're going to do," Oliver blurted out as he took a sip of water. She looked confused, but played along.

"Yeah," she said as she raised her glass towards him. "To a great night."

The glasses clinked and they shared a smile as he leaned over towards her and planted a kiss on her right cheek. She was wearing his favorite perfume. When he sat back down, his left hand dropped into his pocket and he smiled at her again.

"Yeah, we're going to do this tonight," Diggle said leaning back in his chair in the foundry. His smile was almost as big as theirs.

Oliver played with the ring in his pocket so much that when he finally proposed that they marry, it almost blinded her with its reflection.

* * *

_Now_

It was 5pm before Oliver moved from the couch to the bedroom. He didn't eat, he didn't sleep, he didn't do anything. He just laid there motionless. The only time he moved was when his senses played a trick on him.

That smell, he thought as he looked up suddenly. He expected her to be there. He wasn't sure why, but he knew she was there. He looked around the living room. Their living room, but she was nowhere in sight. A breeze passed through the house and carried her scent to him, but she was not present with it. A cruel and torturous trick.

* * *

_Then_

"Ollie, are you okay?" Thea asked her big brother as he took a sip of his beer. She had just walked into the kitchen after a long night at Verdant.

"I never see you drink… so ya know, it's weird," she continued. Oliver wasn't much of a drinker, but he enjoyed a cold one here and there. Especially after a tough night guarding the city from the most dangerous people on earth.

"Yeah Speedy, I'm fine. How are you?" He asked deflecting the attention away from him.

"I'm fine, you know. Just another rough night at the club. You would not believe the kind of people in this city. I think I'll have a beer too." She said, as she walked towards the fridge. He smirked when she wasn't looking, because, he could believe the kind of people in this city.

"Tell me about it," he said.

Thea started talking about the issues she ran into at the club that night. From people stiffing the bartenders to sick customers in the bathroom, it was all just a mess. And Thea was the one responsible for taking care of it all. Oliver liked hearing about her problems and complaints, it freed him. It let him escape the world of the Green Arrow and pretend that he was as carefree as the boy he was before being shipwrecked on that island.

They talked for hours after that before Thea decided to call it a night. She was exhausted and the beers had run out a while ago. She kissed her big brother goodnight and thanked him for letting her vent. As she made her way up the stairs, Oliver could feel himself steadily tense up again before she called out to him.

"Hey Ollie… I love you." Thea smiled and was gone before he could say it back. He walked back to the kitchen and picked up his phone just as it began to vibrate.

"Felicity?" he asked when he picked up the phone.

"Yeah, it's me. Sorry to call you so late… can you let me in?" she said, with a guilty tone in her voice.

He walked towards the front door and opened it to find her. She was still wearing the dress from earlier and although it was clear she had gone through hell that night, she still looked beautiful.

"Hey, is everything okay?" his voice carried concern.

"Yeah yeah, I'm fine… well not really, but when are any of us really 'fine' you know?" She sighed, before continuing, "I, um, couldn't bring myself to go home. I drove and drove around my block for hours. I drove and just kept driving. We had a really close call tonight. Diggle is pretty beat up…"

They had conversations like this before, but this one seemed more grave. It was true, Diggle had been hurt badly that night. He would require more medical treatment than they could offer in the foundry and would have to seek out medical help at a hospital, but they needed to come up with a cover story first. They would think of something. They always did.

"That's not the only thing though. You…" Felicity started.

"I stopped him," Oliver cut her off. "He won't be an issue anymore."

"Yes Oliver, you stopped him. But at what cost? Diggle almost died and if it hadn't been for a lucky distraction, you would have died too and I wouldn't have known what to do with myself," Felicity's tears tore into Oliver.

"Hey, nothing is going to happen to Diggle or myself. The bad guys keep getting worse, but we're going to keep getting better. I promise you, Felicity, you won't be alone. Ever." He tried to be as comforting as possible. He embraced her and she returned the gesture. He felt as free as he had ever felt.

A few moments later, she made a series of tired sounds and sighs before Oliver scooped her up and carried her to his room. He laid her down on the bed and began walking towards the door.

"Hey Oliver," Felicity said from the bed. He turned around and walked towards her again.

"I thought you said I wouldn't be alone," she said groggily. Oliver smirked, nodded his head, and climbed into the bed.

They kissed for the first time that night.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

* * *

_Then_

Oliver awoke a few hours later reaching over to the other side of the bed to find nobody. Felicity was gone. He gathered his senses and rose from the bed ready to look for her. His search was a quick one as she was sitting near a window gazing out to the now rising sun.

"Felicity?" he called out.

She didn't respond with words. She looked at him and waved her hand, signaling for him to go to her. He obliged. As he approached her, sunlight sprinkled her face. If there was anything more beautiful, he had not known it.

"Is everything okay?" he said as he put his hand on her shoulder. She snuggled her face onto it and grabbed it with her own.

"The sun is coming up; I always loved watching the sunrise. I haven't done it in a while. Usually I'm too tired from our nights together." Oliver smirked and Felicity sighed before continuing, "About last night…"

Oliver's smirk was washed away by those three words. He knew the conversation was about to turn serious.

"I don't regret anything Felicity," he interjected before she could continue. She was the one smirking now.

"But, where do we go from here? I mean, is there a "we"…" and before she could go on one of her long rambles, he planted a kiss on her lips and gave her the answer she was searching for.

* * *

_Now_

Oliver awoke day after day, reaching over to the other side of the bed to find nobody. Felicity was gone. He wouldn't find her gazing out the window. She was simply gone.

"Felicity?" he would call out in the middle of the night. "Felicity!" he would scream during his drunken days. "Felicity," he would plead with an empty house and beg God to bring her back, but it was not to be. She was gone.

* * *

_Then_

Felicity froze. She didn't know how to explain Oliver's tears to Robert. She didn't know how to explain that Aunt Sara was dead.

"Well you see, Robbie… You know how… Hmmm…" Felicity tried and stumbled on giving her son an answer.

"Robbie, Aunt Sara is not going to be around anymore," Oliver managed to get out as he wiped the tears away from his eyes. "She died."

Robert's eyes began to swell up and Oliver hugged him tightly. Felicity began tearing up as well, although she was trying to be the strong one. She knew how much Sara meant to Oliver, not only as a dear friend, but also as a partner.

It had been a year since Oliver took up the Green Arrow mantle again. At first it was "one last mission." Then it became "Roy needs help, this one last time." And finally, "Roy can't do this by himself anymore, I have to help." Starling City was a much different place than when Oliver was the hooded vigilante. The bad guys were getting smarter, more aggressive, and infinitely more dangerous. For as much as Roy and his super serum enhanced body fought, the rogues that tormented Starling just kept growing in numbers. Oliver loved Felicity, his son, and his life, but he could not stand by idly as his city burned to the ground. Oliver lost a step or two, and wasn't as strong as he once was, but the years of warring against Slade Wilson and others, had sharpened his tactical skills to no end. He was the brains of the operation this time around, but when called upon; he suited up and took out his share of bad guys. Sara never settled down like Oliver and often spoke of her jealousy towards his life, but she was too invested in the fighting the fight. Especially, after her father was killed trying to protect her. She blamed herself just as all faulted heroes do.

"Ollie, I'll be fine. I've done this a million times," she said over the com piece.

"Sara, this is just a recon mission. Hence, the street clothes," he reminded her. He was aware Sara had been on edge recently. They were closing in on her father's killer and she had the taste of revenge on her lips.

"I know. It'll be fine," Sara said before the line went static.

"Sara! Can you hear me? Sara!" Oliver sprung up from the chair and raced towards his bow.

"Oliver, what do you think you're doing?" a voice traveled through the foundry. Roy stepped out from the shadows and repeated his question.

"Sara needs help. I'm going in," Oliver replied with his bow in hand.

"Listen man, I know I asked you for help, but I made a promise to Felicity that I would not let you put yourself in danger. We've had a couple of close calls recently and I simply can't let you go out there. I'll go, you just stay in here and be my eyes and ears," Roy said as he reached his hand out and waited for Oliver to hand over the bow.

"I'll be fine out there; I'm not discussing this anymore. Get out of my way Roy," Oliver demanded. Roy did not and as he went to reason with Oliver some more, he was interrupted by the familiar sting of one Green Arrow's arrows.

"What are you doing? Are you nuts?" Roy shouted from the floor trying to gauge how much damage was done to his leg.

"I'll be back" Oliver said as he walked out of the hideout.

* * *

_Now_

He called Felicity every day: once in the morning, once at noon, and however many times at night when he was drunk. He left rambling voicemails which ranged from pathetic to miserable. He assumed she must have been listening and deleting them because her voicemail box was never full. Or at least, he wanted to believe that he wasn't just half right. On the rare occasion he ventured outside and had to interact with another person, he was always distant. Never saying anything more than he needed to and always finding a way to end conversations prematurely. He was not the charming man everyone knew in Starling, but just a shell of that man. Everyone knew something was amiss, but nobody ever bothered to ask. Felicity and Oliver led a very private life, so it didn't surprise him that the story hadn't gotten out there yet and he was happy it hadn't. He thought that eventually she would come back and they would work things out, just like they had once before.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

_Now_

"The great Oliver Queen, The Arrow, Billionaire businessman by day, hooded vigilante by night. What a farce!" Oliver exclaimed. He picked up the bottle of Jack Daniels to his lips and became enraged when it turned up empty. He hurled the bottle at the mirror underneath the painting of the two of them. The glass unsurprisingly shattered on contact. Stepping on the shards of glass, he walked over to the painting ignoring the fact that his feet began bleeding profusely. He stared at the painting.

"… Look at you. You're not better than me. Just because you're happy and have everything in the world doesn't make you better than me! Why'd you go? Why?"

He cried himself to sleep on top of the glass.

* * *

_Then_

"Ollie? Can you hear me?" Sara was puzzled as to why the com was down. This was not good. "Oliver? Can you…"

"He can't hear you Sara. Nobody can. It's just the two of us." An unfamiliar voice echoed through the empty hallway. "Would you like me to tell you why nobody can hear you?"

Sara settled into a fighting stance, but saw nobody. She quickly scanned her surroundings for any possible exits, but found herself completely isolated. This was not good.

"Nobody to fight and nowhere to run, you are mine Sara Lance… or should I call you: Black Canary? Whatever you choose to go by, this is where you die."

Sara could not recognize the voice that haunted her. As hard as she tried, she could not put a face to the voice. She had nothing.

"In case you hadn't figured it out, I'm something new. You know nothing about me, but I know everything about you. Your time on the island, your time with the League, your time as Oliver Queen's lover slash crime fighting partner. How is Queen these days? Still enjoying the married life? His wife… the woman he left you for…"

"Alright! That's enough. Show yourself!" Sara demanded as she looked around, still not finding a way out.

"Tsk Tsk, such a temper Miss Lance. I will reveal myself in time. Right before you die."

Must stall, Sara thought to herself.

"Such a threat coming from someone who won't show themselves. Tell me, what's your name?" Sara asked.

Twisted laughter resonated through the hallway.

"Oh that is precious! Trying to stall me long enough so that backup arrives. Precious indeed. You vigilantes always think you know every little trick in the book. 'Must stall the madman, must make more time, must do this, must do that' ugh! doesn't it get so boring?"

"To be honest, taking down madmen never gets boring. Show yourself," Sara replied. "I am getting bored of this little game we're playing."

The voice chuckled. Whoever was behind this knew they were in Sara's head now.

"Game? You think this is the game?" The voice chuckled again, Sara was clearly seething. "Miss Lance, while I have been toying with you this whole time, we haven't begun to play the game. I can tell you're flustered, even aggravated. Your heart rate is going through the roof and your breathing is becoming erratic. Tsk tsk Miss Lance, calm yourself before you make the wrong decision."

"Show yourself!" Sara demanded once more, but the now too familiar chuckle filled the air.

"You have options Miss Lance. I can't say you're going to like them. As a matter of fact, I can promise that you will hate them, but they're options nonetheless. Option 1, I can let you walk out of here, but in doing so; you condemn those who you care about the most. Option 2, you kill the approaching Oliver Queen and in doing so, I will make sure that the people you love the most will live happily ever after. Option 3, you kill yourself and nobody else dies, not Laurel, not Sin, not a single member of your beloved clan of misfit toys or their families will see harm. You have 30 seconds." Another twisted chuckle hit the air and clock started running.

* * *

_Now_

"As promised, Mrs. Queen, they are all alive and well. Well, alive at least. I am a man of my word." A voice stated as Felicity watched various monitors showing Oliver, Robert, Roy, Thea, and Diggle.

"You're a madman." Felicity countered.

A twisted chuckle resonated in the room.


End file.
